I Will Be A Wonderful Mother!

I saw this on another board about 3 years ago. No one knew who the author was so I have no one to give credit to but I think it is wonderful and very fitting for our journey.

I WILL BE A WONDERFUL MOTHER

There are women who become mothers without effort, 

without thought, 

without patience or loss,
and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep,
explore,
and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.

I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

Reality Check

So this week we went on the big hospital tour. It was actually pretty short and just gave us the ins and outs of where to go when the time comes to deliver this baby. It was actually the first time I had been up to Bergan to see their maternity ward.  Most of my friends in the past have delivered at Methodist or Lakeside.  So it will be a new experience.  What surprised me the most about the tour was the other people who hadn't decided what hospital they would deliver at. They were actually going on multiple tours to compare.  K and I actually discussed what they would compare because isn't the most important thing your doctor if they can make it and the care for your child.  Not how the room looks, room service and what the snack room provides?  I guess to each their own.

Anyways, I had a touch of reality when we went into the delivery room.  I just had that moment of picturing us there and that this would be the room (or one similar) we would welcome our daughter into this world.  I almost got teary eyed just standing their thinking about it. And before you blame it on crazy pg hormones I have not had any of those this pg so pretty sure it was reality setting in.  Also, knowing that we only have about 21 days left.  Although, at my last 2 doctor visits our little girl is not ready to come out yet.  I still have a feeling she will arrive on a day that it is snowing and so far this is what the farmers almanac predicts:

JANUARY 2011: temperature 23 ° (3 ° below avg.); precipitation 0.5" (0.5" below avg.); Jan 1-3: Sunny, turning mild; Jan 4-8: Rain to snow, then sunny, seasonable; Jan 9-13: Flurries, very cold; Jan 14-19: Snow showers, very cold; Jan 20-24: Snow, then sunny, bitter cold; Jan 25-31: Snow, then sunny, turning milder.

 

Of course my mom saw this and she still thinks she's gonna come on the 12th.  I think I might have to evict her on the 14th but we shall see what happens in the next 21 days. Babies do come when they want to. 

Worms Galore!

So I fired the worm compost bin back up again, since I lovingly killed the last batch by feeding them gobs of citrus peels.  Citrus peels are really bad for worms, I figured that out when they were all dead.  This time, I did more research and so far the 1,000 plus red wigglers seem to be adjusting well to their new home.  K of course is afraid I will turn his house into a compost bin as I've been saving food scraps here and there for them.  But I'm excited to see this thing really start working.  While I'm not super, super, crunchy as my friends like to say I do like to recycle and this seems like a pretty easy way to recycle waste from the kitchen while making compost for my garden and plants. 

Here is my worms home, I have this in stylish green.

And this is what my worms look like. Kind of gross huh?  Don't worry they kind of gross me out to. But they do the job.

Time to Catch Up!

Wow, I can't believe it's been a month since I last posted. So much has gone on.  My iron levels have finally risen and are holding steady. My platelet count is bouncing around but has not hit the "danger zone" yet so all is good there.  Today I am 36 weeks!  Amazing how fast time has gone by and that we have 4 or less weeks left.  At my appointment yesterday, she is still measuring right on track which is great.

So over the last month, I had a fabulous little shower with my girlfriends hosted by Shannon B. The theme was Dr. Seuss.  Check out the super cute cake pops and goodies we had.

The day after my shower we headed to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving to spend time with my side of the family. We had a great visit with the temperatures being over 80 for most of the visit.  The only negative was I only brought 2 t-shirts as the weather channel had said it was going to be cold. Needless to say those 2 shirts got worn a lot!

After we returned home it was December and so began our Christmas parties, cookie exchanges, etc.  We had our annual Christmas party with KC & JC.  It was very entertaining this year and we had a great turnout considering the weather was nasty. Amazingly we are done with all of our parties until January and now just have a week to relax before Christmas.  My goal this week is really to put the finishing touches on the nursery, I am having a terrible time finding a lampshade that I like that doesn't cost a fortune. We'll see what I can come up with.